Disbelief

I jumped on tickets for a surprise concert.

Todd Snider played a last minute, unplanned show at Martyrs. A packed room of fans just like me showed up. Todd, the crowd, and I all felt the same spontaneous joy and made it up as we went along.

I rarely feel unbridled excitement. I’m guarded, cautious, and perhaps cynical. I rarely feel like others share the same love that I have for hyper-specific things. That night - with little preparation or build-up - we all seemed to feel the exact same grateful and delirious feelings of fun from beginning to end. I could be mistaken full self in a room full of strangers with my guard completely down.

I almost never feel true connection, whether in a relationship or a singular moment. So I crave it, largely believing it won’t happen. I’ll find like-minded people or common interests, but no thrilling feeling that isn’t tempered by caution, disappointment, or annoyance. That night, we all felt the exact same feelings and thought the exact same thoughts for all the same reasons. It was perfect unity. Inseparable connection - for as long as that evening could last. It was temporary, but a massive dose of rare rocket-fueled joy.