I am in the alley under the pink line at 2am after a dinner service shift looking for my cat in the cold.

I was walking through the alley to enter my rear coach house apartment when 2 unhoused men begin shouting to get my attention in order to inform me that my cat got out.

It was 2am, I’m in a dark alley under the train tracks, 2 dudes that I see in my alley all the time shout to get my attention and I am immediately ready to fight. They shouted to announce themselves bc walking up on me could feel more threatening, and to my surprise it was to tell me they saw my cat wandering around in the alley and he looked beaten up. They saw the worry in my face and offered to help. We walked together for a minute then split up and spent like 40 min out there in the cold till we found Milo, then they walked me home and assured me they had our backs.

This was my first apartment in Chicago. It was a $450 studio in a coach house under the train tracks in Pilsen so it was loud and wild and I loved it. However, I’m the youngest daughter in my family, so this place wasn’t good enough, safe enough, up to “standard;” nothing ever was. My family made so many bad decisions and put me in so much fucking danger in my lifetime so I became pretty fearless and was in love with my shitty lil apartment on a very hot block bc anything was better than living with my parents. So, in short, in spite of the untrustworthiness of the adults in my life and the fear, cynicism, skepticism and distrust they tried to stitch me up with, I still got to find awe in everything, wear my heart on my sleeve and big trust the world around me. So when I thought I was about to get held up in my alley by these dudes and instead they turned into fucking cat whisperers and single girl guardians of the night, I knew my intuition was right all along; people are safe, not everyone is out to get you, NEVER judge a book by its cover, and the world will hold you when you least expect it. In conclusion, living on that block taught me so much about how I am protected, cared for and loved, always.

I was terrified! On every walk I ever take alone, I game plan how I’m going to get out of danger if it shows up. So in this dark ass alley where no one could hear me scream if the train is going by at 2am, I was ready to fight to the death. And instead the universe showed me so much gentleness and love, and those dudes looked out for me for the remainder of my time there. I wish I could remember their names. Anyhow it shaped me as a community member for the rest of my life. The unhoused folx in my community are some of the first people I get to know bc I walk a lot, I’m out a lot and so are they. Coming from people that taught me to fear and be suspicious of everyone was wierd bc my inner compass was strong and always guides me to safety. But safety looks different for so many and for me, I’ve always encountered humans with hearts of gold in the most unlikely places.